Honestly, who hasn't blown their fingers numb or set themselves on fire at least once as a kid; and if they're like me continue to do so.
Light my punk, and let's go!
Ahh, the Ultimate Encore. Sounds good, doesn't it? Just when you thought the show was done, you don't just get the encore you've been waiting for, but you get Freebird and Stairway to Heaven and a BJ all rolled into the Ultimate Encore! Mmmm...
That's either a BFG or a boombox on her shoulder, either way...Fire Goddess Walk with Me!
This one, well...someone has be watching the old pirate movies, you know, Errol Flynn and crap like that. That's no Keith Richards shitty-pig drunk on rum with six eyes kind of pirate. Hide your booty and your bum.
Did vikings have fireworks? Who cares! There is something about a buxom blond with a horned helmet holding a sword with dripping blood that gets your pressure up and makes your pants tight. Super-buxom means that each breast is the size of her head - get a ruler and measure them; I dare you. I haven't even mentioned that she's got 24 shots; I don't even know what that means out of a woman with a sword, but it's still hot! I almost bought this one.
Small Festival Balls. Not really a lot to say here, other than, WARNING Shoots Flaming Balls! Okay, it was a ball joke, but really, you were thinking it; I just typed it.
Power and Pride. What else is there to the holiday? The Statue of Liberty on one side, a bald eagle on the other, with the old stars and stripes behind - nothing is more American. Did you happen to notice the "String o' Pearls" sitting next to the box?
This is America. We blow shit up for fun while drinking beer. Don't mess with us, we're crazy.
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